Location: Loch Fyne Long Weekend

5th of May 2006 to 8th of May 2006

It makes you wonder why we do it sometimes….. there we were sitting in our caravan on the banks of Loch Fyne, 7.30 in the evening and the black skies made it feel very dark apart from the lightning. The thunder was rocking the caravan, but you could hardly hear it above the rain hitting the roof. We barely heard the mobile ring……… It was Paul Spence just checking in….. ‘hiya, are you here yet, we’ve just arrived and are about to go to the bar on site are you coming along?’ Out with the waterproofs and off to meet the crazy gang.
Jenny and I (Paul Rodriguez) had arrived a couple of days ago and were being joined by the following brave souls…..
Paul Spence(the gallant organiser), Kevin Lea, Chris Dixon & Helen, Pete Ball & Roz, Elizabeth Norton and Jane Brinkworth. Keith Waterhouse and Carron Wilson were due to arrive in a couple of days time.
Over dinner and a few drinks, Paul S showed us his impressive array of maps, charts and dive books. The initial dive itinerary had mysteriously(somewhere between Stroud and Inverary) been completely revamped and the first dive tomorrow was planned for somewhere called the Ocean Terminal on Loch Long, time for bed with the thunder still growling menacingly.
Day 1
Ocean Terminal, Loch Long is some sort of refuelling station for large ocean going vessels, picturesque it’s not, but what the heck. A couple of safety conscious souls asked if SMBs were necessary. ‘No’, says Paul S, ‘there’s hardly ever any boat traffic here, just send up a delayed at the end of the dive.’ As he finished the sentence, the sound of very large engines coming our way caused us a moments hesitation. The biggest naval type vessel I have ever seen came around the bend guided by two tugs…..so much for hardly any boat traffic.
The entry point was a rocky shore which we accessed down a steep path, the sort of path that leaves you wondering if you are supposed to be mountain climbing or scuba diving. Roz, Jenny and Helen (hereafter referred to as the catering crew) wisely elected to set up camp at the top of the slope, although those of us who wanted to dip our feet in the Loch had to make the descent. The buddy pairs were :- Paul R & Elizabeth, Chris & Pete,
Paul S, Kevin & Jane.
Underwater, just out from the shore, there were some huge concrete structures which were smothered in anemones, dead man’s fingers, brittle stars, and urchins. There were dozens of squat lobsters under the rocks. The bottom continued steeply down to an area of mud which, although looking barren, contained all kinds of tube worms, brittle stars and queen scallops which ‘flew off’ at our approach. It was only when you returned to the shore that you realised how steep the bottom was and it felt like you were swimming uphill.
Jane had encountered a few problems clearing her ears, so Kevin and Paul S went back in together while the catering crew provided the rest of us with hot drinks. We all watched as a seals head bobbed about close to where the divers bubbles were breaking the surface, there were also gannets diving around them, but they were blissfully unaware.
After the dive, it was off to a place called ‘The Pitstop Diner’ for lunch, it turned out to be more of a dive than where we’d just been! The bikers who had their bikes parked out front were friendly enough, which was more than can be said for the waitress. I use the term waitress very loosely here, as I’m not sure if that could ever be her true role in life. We could have used the services of a good translator to interpret her one word answers and we were all a bit scared to say anything in case this mountain of a Scottish lass threw us out. If she has ever been to a charm school, she definitely ought to be pushing for a refund!! Incidentally, I’ve checked all my Cordon Bleu cookery books, and nowhere does it say that a salad garnish consists of a slice of cucumber!!
On to the next dive site on Loch Long, which was described in the book as conger alley, which pleased Elizabeth because we all know she enjoys poking eels.
Now call me picky, but nowhere in the risk assessment did Paul S mention 10 ton trucks hurtling past at 80mph! It’s the first time that I’ve ever kitted up on the equivalent of the M5 and dashed across it clutching all my bits to my person (ooer missus) On the other side of the road was another steep slope down to the rocky shoreline, and the catering crew actually made the descent with all their pots and pans etc. to sit basking in the glorious sunshine while we did our thing with the eels. Did I mention the eels? Sorry, either the book got it wrong or we weren’t on conger alley at all, there was an awful lot of life in the water including a couple of dogfish, but definitely no eels.
By the time we had finished our adventures for the day it was getting late, the urge for a barbecue had definitely come and gone, so we settled for fish and chips back at the static caravan which was being occupied by 6 of our number. Carron and Keith arrived as we were tucking in to our supper which made a total of a dozen people in a 6 berth van, very cosy, but we weren’t at all popular with the neighbours.
Day 2
Directly opposite the campsite there is an area of boulders which was our destination for the day, so we set off after suffering some verbal abuse by the neighbours in our convoy of 7 cars all the way round to the other side of the Loch. There was a small track leading down to the side of the Loch, where we found a couple of Scottish divers kitting up. Guess what, another steep slope down to the beach!. The weather was still holding out for us despite threatening local forecasts, and the catering crew set up shop on the rocks. The whole of the Scottish Sub Aqua Club descended upon the beach shortly after, including Kevin Watson who allegedly taught Paul S to dive. There was a slight change of buddy pairs this morning, Paul R & Chris, Elizabeth & Pete, Kevin, Paul S & Jane. Carron & Keith.
This turned out to be a very pretty dive, but as I surfaced with Chris, we heard the wail of a siren. Jane was lying on the beach wrapped in a blanket after having fallen over. The ambulance was just arriving as we came out from the dive.
Jane had badly hurt her leg and the ambulance men had to cut her drysuit off to assess the damage. (Chris said he was going to advertise it on e-bay as ‘hardly used, but with a small leak’) They made the decision to take her straight to Dunoon Hospital for an x-ray. Helen went with her in the ambulance and Kevin followed on in Jane’s car. (I didn’t know those small cars could do wheelies!) Jane insisted that we continue diving, so most of us went back in for a second dive, although this morning’s accident had definitely taken the shine off of the day. We found out later that her leg was badly broken above the knee, and she was being kept in hospital.
Dinner that evening was at an Italian place in Inverary, where we caused absolute mayhem as always, we raised a few glasses to Jane’s health, Chris broke a glass (that’s only supposed to be in Russian restaurants Chris!) the waiter gave us all a free drink and we staggered back to our respective beds.

Day 3
The weather had definitely taken a turn for the worse this morning and constant rain forced us to re-evaluate our plans for the day. The decision was made to dive the harbour area at the campsite. A very long surface swim to a buoy would put us on top of the wreck of a yacht, a short swim north from there would find us at a jeep. No problem! Kevin and Paul S were hunting for a block of concrete which formed a mooring for visiting ships, they were going to put a marker on it for the guy in the dive shop if they could find it.
Now the long swim out to the buoy wasn’t bad as there is virtually no current in the Loch, sure enough, at the bottom of the shotline there was a yacht called the ‘Knotty Ash’. A very very small yacht it has to be said, but a yacht none the less. I was diving with Elizabeth and Pete in a threesome and by the time we had been around, under, through, above and below the yacht a few times we were still only 5 minutes into our dive so we headed off north to find the even smaller jeep. We fanned out 6 feet apart, torches on full beam, heading north and guess what?
WE MISSED THE BLOODY JEEP. Paul S told us later that it had the most enormous lobster in it. (I think the lobster must have driven it away from it’s usual position!)
Paul S and Kevin had found the concrete block and Kevin bravely left his marker buoy attached to it. He spent the next hour staring at morosely, wondering how he was going to get it back or tell Wendy of his loss. I had a quiet word with some divers with a rib and secured a ride out and back for Paul S to retrieve it. So armed with a substantial buoy and a length of rope he went for a jolly on the rib to swop Kevin’s pride and joy for a more permanent marker. Kevin was definitely a happy bunny to have his marker back, and the guy in the dive shop seemed pleased enough. (I’m not sure if any money changed hands or if Paul S got free air fills for the rest of the trip)
Having sampled the delights of the harbour, nobody fancied another dive there so we moved along the Loch to a place called Furnace Quarry. Now no-one can say that Paul S doesn’t take us to some of the most picturesque places in Scotland! The quarry was just that, a working quarry next to the Loch armed with KEEP OUT signs and copious amounts of mud, piles of gravel and rock. Elizabeth turned up eventually, having missed the turning. She ended up doing a 15mile detour along a narrow track which finished exactly where she started… back at the campsite.
Do you remember when you were first taught the giant stride entry in the swimming pool? Well, imagine doing that from the top diving board and you’ve got some idea what the entry was like from the quay into the Loch here at the quarry. Kevin Watson had arrived, so he went in with Kevin and Paul S. I was diving with Pete, and Carron and Keith were together. When doing a giant stride from this sort of height, it’s a great idea to keep all your dangly bits nicely tucked up and hanging on tight to everything before shutting your eyes and muttering your final prayers. Carron forgot the bit about keeping your arms tucked in, which was a surprise really as you have plenty of time to think about these things on the way down ( I turned my torch on and off a couple of times to check that is was working while waiting to hit the water it’s that far down!) Carron’s shoulder took a bit of a bashing when she finally hit the water and we all had visions of another ambulance call. Kevin Watson was quick mind, as soon as Carron hit the surface groaning, he had jumped in to help. Fair play to Carron, although having wrenched her shoulder, she carried on with the dive (mainly because there is nowhere to get out apart from at the end of the dive.)
The dive itself was superb, with the largest anemones I had ever seen. Pete and I also found a huge lobster amongst the rocks. The exit was almost as good as the entry, being up a very steep rocky slope, definitely hard work diving up here! Kevin Watson and
Paul S went in for another dive and just to show that the Scottish Sub Aqua Club are real men, they increased the height of the entry by jumping off the pier which was substantially higher than the previous entry point. We all watched with bated breath to see whose kit was going to end up bobbing on the surface without diver attached, but all was well and they ended their dive by bringing out a couple of large edible crabs which were totally encased in fishing line. We all spent a pleasant 45 minutes cutting line and avoiding claws before releasing them back to start collecting more line.
Day 4
It was off to a place called the tearooms this morning, a little café and garden centre with access to the Loch from it’s car-park. Chris and Keith were together as Carron’s shoulder was definitely out of sorts. Paul S and Kevin then decided to go in but found quite a current running outside of the reef. Carron told Elizabeth and I about the fast current so we opted for diving inside the reef. The inside of the reef was bit of a disappointment, being a bit like Vobster Quay with barnacles. When we came out, everybody was a bit concerned about Keith and Chris who were slightly overdue, we wondered about the currents. They didn’t quite make the hour but they were pretty close to it having had a good dive outside the reef.
After sampling the local cakes at the teashop, we headed back to the quarry for the last dive of the holiday. Paul S, Kevin and Elizabeth went in as a threesome, the rest of us were dived out by now and opted for a restful cuppa whilst on shore duty. The intrepid threesome eventually came back with another line encrusted crab. (I’m convinced it was the same one as we disentangled yesterday) After cutting it free and putting it back to find some more line, the barbecue came out. By this time in the afternoon, we weren’t at all sure if was a late lunch, an early supper or an afternoon snack. As we had a meal booked at the Loch Fyne Oyster Bar that evening we didn’t over-indulge (well not that much). Paul, I’ve got to say that the bananas with chocolate were absolutely inspirational!
That evening was a splendid occasion with copious amounts of oysters and wine consumed, the food was brilliant and the company was even better.
Thanks to Paul Spence for organising a superb trip, the diving was definitely interestingly different, the social side of things could not have been better. The whole trip, unfortunately, was overshadowed by Jane’s accident and we all wish her a speedy recovery.

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